Realizing that I've kept this decision very private up to this point, and have been very career-oriented, let me explain this logic. Contrary to popular belief, I do not hate children, and nor have I ever said that I do not want kids. I have said that I would be okay *not* having kids, and this is still true; I don't view the ultimate purpose of my life to be producing or raising offspring, and I am blessed with a large family and many personal goals worth pursuing. All of that is not to say that kids are unwelcome--I just view a child as one more along for the adventure (...kind of like my husband).
I have not caught the "baby fever," and we were waiting to be prepared and ready. Anyone paying attention is aware that last year we moved from a condo into a 4 bedroom house with a sweet backyard in a good school district. I am not shopping for tiny booties or tiny bibs or tiny whatever else the normal female response in this situation is. I have no desire to hold other babies and "practice". I don't feel magical--I feel exhausted and sick, and if I have to listen to one more female relative tell me how wonderful it is being pregnant and how great I must feel, somebody is going to get smacked. And for goodness sake, I am now entering my second trimester, and it isn't getting better, and I wish people would stop saying that I will feel better soon--my back pain is increasing, my nausea and exhaustion are now coupled with migraines in the evening, I'm told I have started sleepwalking.
Also, my grandmother passed away on the 11th, and being pregnant at that funeral wins the awkward moment of the year award. I'm still not over her death. Hearing "Congratulations, you must be so happy" repeatedly during a loved one's funeral is exactly what I didn't need. I hung out with my grandmother a week and a half earlier and she was so happy and said she wanted to babysit, and she didn't get to. She was someone I really would have wanted my kids to have a connection with, and she was someone I was close to, and I am still messed up about her death.
...And back to the work thing. We had privately discussed that putting our kids in daycare full time is not our preferred option, and especially not at an early age. So, I may be taking a short career break to take care of things at home. I'm planning to get a part-time job during that time, or I may go completely insane being trapped inside the house day after day.
To cover the lapse in income, I am investigating how to cut our food costs. And I discovered this site: http://www.grocerybudget101.com. It's pretty neat; I'm going to try it.
That's all for now,
Alula
1 comment:
Alula,
I for one never believed you hate children. Anyone who has ever seen you with a child knows better.
I never though you did not want kids, you have achieved many life goals and I'm very proud to call you a friend.
Since I had baby fever for years I can safely say that you did not have it.
Your house was a very big clue that children were in the future. I just did not feel like being an ass and pointing that out! Your husband looking up the schools in you area was also a flag! Mr. Q and I found it cute!
I also did not shop for baby things. Until I was 8 mo pregnant. It does not make you a bad pregnant person. You have always been a financially practical person, who also does not really like shopping.
You have been to baby showers, you already know you don't need to buy hats and booties, everyone and their dog will buy them for you! I think people who shop for months for the baby are just covering up the fact they think they will be bad parents.
You feel like crap... I get it!
It pissed me off when people wanted me to hold their kid to "practice".
Not to mention your tummy being public property!
Then magic does not come until after the baby is born, and enjoy it while it lasts because its brief! After that you will only have brief flashes of magic mixed into a lot of poop and spit!
I have been personally not asking how you feel, that's not because I don't care, it just made me crazy when I was pregnant. I know you feel like crap, and I am always here for you to complain to.
I sleepwalk too, every night when I get up at 4am to feed Mini Q, all moms sleepwalk.
I'm very sorry your Grandmother passed, she was an amazing woman.
As far as you going back to work, what ever you decide, will be the best thing for you and your children.
Being trapped at home everyday sucks, but watching you child grow is pretty cool stuff. Also, we may live an hour away from each other. but traffic is much lighter during the week. I'm lonely, Munchkin gets lonely, play dates are not just for the kids!
I am going to warn you about a strange thing I have discovered since I have been a stay at home mother; I have ran into people who actually judge me for staying home. Like it makes me less of a modern woman. This of course is absolute BS, We worked for women to have the right to choose! ( Actually said that to the last women who was asking me if my husband did not allow me to work...)
I WILL BE HAPPY TO BEAT THE TAR OUT OF ANYONE WHO IS PISSING YOU OFF!
There is never enough money. Just remember there are people who raise their children with much less then we have. And the end of the day they need love more! ( a roof helps too!)
And finally I am getting very strong boy vibes off you baby!
I totally support you if you don't want to tell anyone, when you find out!
Post a Comment