Meal Planning

So I'm knocked up now, and the employee share of healthcare costs is about to skyrocket for about 2 years (Q, your husband's company rocks--Mr. Borealis' company is going HSA only starting January 1).  I have commenced a stranglehold on my household budget because I'm unsure if I will want to return to work after I pop in April.

Realizing that I've kept this decision very private up to this point, and have been very career-oriented, let me explain this logic.  Contrary to popular belief, I do not hate children, and nor have I ever said that I do not want kids.  I have said that I would be okay *not* having kids, and this is still true; I don't view the ultimate purpose of my life to be producing or raising offspring, and I am blessed with a large family and many personal goals worth pursuing.  All of that is not to say that kids are unwelcome--I just view a child as one more along for the adventure (...kind of like my husband).  

I have not caught the "baby fever," and we were waiting to be prepared and ready.  Anyone paying attention is aware that last year we moved from a condo into a 4 bedroom house with a sweet backyard in a good school district.  I am not shopping for tiny booties or tiny bibs or tiny whatever else the normal female response in this situation is.  I have no desire to hold other babies and "practice".  I don't feel magical--I feel exhausted and sick, and if I have to listen to one more female relative tell me how wonderful it is being pregnant and how great I must feel, somebody is going to get smacked.  And for goodness sake, I am now entering my second trimester, and it isn't getting better, and I wish people would stop saying that I will feel better soon--my back pain is increasing, my nausea and exhaustion are now coupled with migraines in the evening, I'm told I have started sleepwalking.  

Also, my grandmother passed away on the 11th, and being pregnant at that funeral wins the awkward moment of the year award.  I'm still not over her death.  Hearing "Congratulations, you must be so happy" repeatedly during a loved one's funeral is exactly what I didn't need.  I hung out with my grandmother a week and a half earlier and she was so happy and said she wanted to babysit, and she didn't get to.  She was someone I really would have wanted my kids to have a connection with, and she was someone I was close to, and I am still messed up about her death.

...And back to the work thing.  We had privately discussed that putting our kids in daycare full time is not our preferred option, and especially not at an early age.  So, I may be taking a short career break to take care of things at home.  I'm planning to get a part-time job during that time, or I may go completely insane being trapped inside the house day after day.

To cover the lapse in income, I am investigating how to cut our food costs.  And I discovered this site:  http://www.grocerybudget101.com.  It's pretty neat; I'm going to try it.

That's all for now,

Alula

Too personal?

You've been warned.  Don't read the last paragraph if you don't want to get too personal.

I am cruising right along through writing my next book.  While none of you are required to shamelessly promote via social networks, friends, or family, I will buy you coffee on demand if you do.  ;)

I am trying to figure out how personal is too personal to post on my author blog, and in fact, I have been having trouble figuring out what to say there in general.  Ideas are welcome.

I am similarly looking for ideas on things to put in my office cubicle.  I think I need stuff that is professional, but personal.  But not too personal.  Ideas are welcome.

(Personal Stuff Below)

I've been having feminine issues of an unpleasant nature lately, and it's not a UTI, and it's not a yeast infection, and it's not a pregnancy, and it's not an STD (these things I am sure of).  I've made an appointment with the doctor, however, the office called me back because they "had some questions about the appointment I made online" (I'm with Kaiser).  So I call them back immediately when I get home and hear the message, and get someone who is clearly reading from a script (I can hear her whispering stuff under her breath to herself like "If the patient has a card number, then go to the..."), so I am guessing she was new.  It is 4:55 when I called.  She immediately tells me that if she transfers me, she's not sure if I will get anyone in OB/GYN because they close at five.  I say "That's fine, go ahead and transfer me--I can't call them during regular business hours because I have no privacy at work.  Please note in my file to have them email instead of call for that reason."  She goes on, saying she's not sure, puts me on hold to do something, comes back three minutes later, still isn't sure..."Just go ahead and transfer me."  "Oh, well, because it's so late..."  (pause, typing noises, me watching the clock tick down to 5) "...I'm just not sure if anyone will be there.  I will message them about the email, though.  Would you like to have their number so you can call them tomorrow from work?"

"No.  Just transfer me, PLEASE!"


Good god y'all.  I have a great deal of respect for people who deal with people on the phone--I work with people who do it for a living, and it can be hellacious.  But seriously, what part of transfer me before everyone leaves isn't clear?  Seriously?

Alula

The 50 book mark

My marriage sucks right now.  That's all I have to say on the subject.

I'm hoping to reach 50 book mark this month.  I don't know why--I think I might have read somewhere that most books will never sell more than 50 copies.  But anywho, it's been a personal goal.  The entire series is already over 50 books in sales, but the first book alone is at 41.  After this milestone, I'm hoping to look forward to the 100 book milestone, and then the 50 books in one week milestone...but we'll see what happens.

My new job is holding  together.  It's a little stressful due to the time of year, and I am more than a little stressed right now, but I'm sticking with it.

Drama, anyone?

Just teasing, Fuzzy!

And yes, it is the case that I have so much going on that I am hardly able to find time to update.  :P

I apologize.  I will try to do better.  Be advised, you may be able to find me on one of my *other* blogs, ahem, email me if you don't have the web address.

I am proud to announce that this week, ebook total sales passed the 50 book mark, with sales in January on track to be higher than November and December combined.  If this sales trend continues (unlikely, but possible) I may be able to consider it a career by the end of the year.  A review was given after the release of the third book stating that people "need" to read the series, because it is that good.

I'm working on my next series now, and hoping to "keep up the hype" by releasing it by the end of June.

In other news, the new job (the one that actually pays the bills) is working out well.  I take the bus because buying a $75/month bus pass--and that's the discount rate provided by my employer--is cheaper than paying $10/day for parking.  Learning the buses has been an experience.  I walk about two miles a day now getting between buses and work and home, and it's doing shapely things to my legs.

Mr. B and I are still shopping houses, though right now we have an offer in on one.  We'll see how it goes.

Alula

Early Christmas for me too

Okay, so to recap, I accepted a job back in August.  The background check took forever.  I finally got cleared, and then there was some issue getting a start date.  Meanwhile, I had arranged to leave my previous job near the end of September (giving 4 weeks notice) on word that I would likely start in October, soon after my background check (which would take "about two weeks") had cleared.  I have been unemployed since October.

Well, during all that time, I applied for, did testing for, interviewed for, and was offered another position.  The interview was Monday.  They called today to tell me if I accepted the position, they wanted me to start on January 3rd.  HALLELUJAH!

So I have a new job--I'm a statistical analyst now.  The position is with the state, it's full time regular employment, and I will get to manage and maintain a lot of information and databases, so that's all pretty darn cool!

Alula

Caffeine by a Thousand Quarters

Girlfriends, I will now continue my streak of posting about the only exciting thing in my daily life since I have not yet been allowed to start my new job.  Actually, I also wanted to give some credit to Mr. Borealis, who forgot our anniversary this year, but then made up for it by taking me to The Melting Pot for dinner, where he had roses delivered to our table.  :)  That man makes me smile.

This month (so far, knock on wood), I have had record sales of my books.  That's not a lot--about 4 books in the last 5 days across all the venues it's sold in--but it's a continuing trend of rising sales across the last several months.  I haven't been paid for any sales yet because most of the places I am selling the book have a minimum earnings threshold for issuing a paycheck.  However, looking at all totals together, I've earned over $10, which is kind of an accomplishment when I'm only earning about $0.30-$0.40 per book.  It's not a ton, but it's enough for fancy coffee once a month.  It's enough to look forward to checking my sales figures.  It's enough to justify writing more books.  

Feeling the Crunch

We found a house in a really nice neighborhood, closer to Mr. B's job, that we are thinking about buying.  It's huge and in a nice family neighborhood; we're having a structural engineer out to see it on Monday to check out some things we were worried about in the basement.

I left my job at the evidence room yesterday (after posting two weeks notice).  My new job is supposed to start soon, but I've been having some trouble getting my background check processed.  I am currently unsure when the new job will start, and I must be a grownup now, because the lost paycheck is now bothering me.

I published my books (yay!)  and told some people, many of whom actually know me (yay!) and I've sold a few copies.  I'm currently trying to advertise the heck out of it, so if you want to spam my blog across wherever you happen to be going (you know, facebook, twitter, Google+, etc.), please do.

I guess I'm stressed because of the new job, and the impending move before me.  It would really be nice if I didn't have to work while taking care of the move, but there's a snowball's chance in hell that my book takes off that dramatically before the end of the year.  If we move, we have to pack, and then unpack, and then find renters for our condo, and on and on and on... And I know this will fall on me, because my husband has a job and thereby can't contribute to the process (I have a job, and do the majority of the daily chores, but somehow this reasoning never works for me).

The new room

My house now has a guest room (yay?).  It was supposed to be my crafting studio, but it was converted to a guest room in anticipation of Mr. B's relatives staying with us over the weekend of his sister's wedding; after all the work, the relatives never showed.  This is where I would typically go on a rant about how this is the story of my life with his family, where they steal my personal blah and then I put in a lot of work to do blah for them and then once it's theirs they don't need it because of blah....but I am trying to let it go.

I will be reclaiming the room as a creative space, but just so the rest of you know, I now have a guest room with a queen sized bed.  I gave over my old twin set to my brother's daughter, and I hope she gets some good use out of it--it was a good set for me.

My husband got a job offer contingent on background check, and we might be moving south (only about an hour from where we are now, close to where the RenFest is).  My job job hasn't been quite as expected; it's alright, but more stressful on certain days than anticipated.  I am driven to get published as quickly as possible.

I restocked our fish tank last weekend, and we now have small schools of bloodfin and black skirt tetras, and some orange and green swordtails.  I am looking to add a cory or two, and perhaps some snails.

 I've lost about 15 pounds since the start of June, and still have 30+ to go.

Alula

Some Good News

I got a job!  It's an evidence technician position.  I'm starting Monday.

Alula

My body, Acting out

It is now (officially) a month since I first started feeling ill.  In retrospect, I'm wondering at the fact that it happened right after I graduated, and had a sudden resurgence in the last week of my job.  I blew out an eardrum, then had a wicked cough and sore throat, and this week, nausea, aches, and fatigue.

I'm beginning to work on a new theory here (it's not pregnancy--yes, I'm sure), because I'm starting to think these symptoms are in part psychosomatic.  I think my body is physically rebelling against my not being in school and over worked; I went two years being swamped with relatively good health.  Even being overweight, I had great scores on my cholesterol and blood pressure, and that's something coming from a family history that's horrifically bad on both fronts.  Now I'm sleeping, watching television, catching up on reading, and have time to write and publish--so why do I feel so crappy?

Every time I sit down to write I feel like I need to be doing something; mostly, I think I need to be finding a job.  I think I put in 10 new job applications today.  I finally have my husband's full support to focus on getting published, and after years of dreaming of doing just this, I suddenly have some subconsciousness need to avoid.  Last night I stayed up until after midnight researching jobs and property in Montana (would I *really* do it, now that my education isn't in the way?  I have no idea).

Munchkin, thank you for agreeing to hold the whip on the publishing cause.  I need it.  Until I adjust to this strange new way of life, I need someone providing structure for me.

Alula

The Last Day

Today was my last day at my job.  I'm pretty darn depressed about it right now; I really love this job.

I love the people I work with, the work I do, and the work environment.  It's hard to find something that good, and it's very hard to leave something that good.  My coworkers took me out to lunch today, and even got me a graduation/going away present--they got me a Longs Peak bench mark paperweight.  It's symbolic because I have graduated, and hence hit a "peak" in my life worthy of noting and measuring future accomplishment against.  I believe I will return to get my PhD and become a researcher; I feel that I belong with these people.  Onward to the next big thing, the next bench mark, as it were.

In answer to Fuzzy's question, I've been sick.  For the last month.  I was sick all of last week, but worked anyways in a desperate attempt to finish up all of the work I had left before leaving my job.  I failed, but it's okay because it's all ongoing type work that I can continue to contribute to (blah blah blah "but you're not getting paid" and whatever else--it's called pride in workmanship, people; my name is going on it, and I will be satisfied before I call it done, paid or not).  Then, I forced myself to take a camping vacation last weekend, where I unintentionally hiked a nearly 3 mile trail with a runny nose, cough, and not as much water as I would have preferred.  I complained the whole way, which probably wasn't much fun for the others on the hike, but I didn't die, which was a plus.

All in all, I am expecting to have a low week.  I am crawling into a hole to reflect and figure out what I'm going to do with myself now.

Alula

The month of April

I had initially planned to put these topics into separate threads, but no one wants to hear me talk that much, so here is a condensed version.

After literal months of applications and rejections, I got picked for further consideration on three positions recently.  One evolved into a phone interview (have since heard back that I was not selected), one a face-to-face interview, and one was testing (which I aced, and am now expecting a recruiter to contact me for interview).  I am keeping my fingers crossed on these last two and really hoping for a job.

My old red '93 Isuzu Trooper finally hit a point that drove my husband to buy a new car.  Old Red decided not to start after we refueled at a gas station, creating quite a scene, and then periodically would or would not start--ended up dropping it off at my dad's for repair, and he has decided (for the time being, at least) that he will be resuming ownership of the vehicle as a spare, as the car is worth nothing with the cost of repairs.  So, Mr. B went out and overspent exactly like I didn't want to and got himself a shiny new 2011 Subaru Outback; it's a nice car, but it was outside of our set budget, and I am a little pissed about it because my husband seems to think I only became opposed to the cost after the purchase (to which I replied, "I have been saying I don't want to spend that much for weeks.  I said I didn't want to buy it on the lot.  And when they refused to drop the price, I said you were getting handled.  What part of all of that sounds like I wanted to do this?").  It's not that we can't afford the car, but it was outside what we wanted to spend--I told Mr. B that if he really *needed* it that badly that he could have it, but I find new cars pompously arrogant and unnecessary.  Why buy new when you know a used car is just as good and half the price???  --Anyways, I am now driving his old Outback.  (I'll post some fond memories of my Trooper when I clean it out and take some pictures.)

I finally got to attend StarFest.  Last year I was presenting at AAG in Washington, DC, for work.  The year before I was presenting a group project for my MLS (while Brent Spiner was wandering the dealer's room, mind you--I cried when I found this out).  This year, I feel I finally had my priorities straight--this event is part of my personal history and heritage.  It's what my husband and I did every year before attending Prom that night.  I had fun, and feel that my "old self" life goals have been recharged and my direction in life has been reaffirmed and is a little clearer.

Q took me to The Golden Spoon.  The prices are good, the frozen yogurt is good, and the calorie count is fantastic.  I did the math and one could literally eat a pint of this stuff and then work it off with a half hour of dancing.  Amazing.

I bought a game for the Wii out of curiosity.  It's called Just Dance 2, and as the title suggests, you pop it in and "just dance".  The songs are great, the moves to the songs actually match the music videos in some respects, and when run on the shuffle mode, this can actually make for an impressive cardio workout.  The game takes advantage of your (or my, I guess, if I'm the only one) compulsive need to dance in front of the bedroom mirror when a catchy song comes on the radio.  You watch the characters on the screen and mimic them like you are watching yourself in the mirror, and the game tracks your accuracy using the Wii remote you hold in your right hand.  My husband has demonstrated to me that this game can be played from the couch, but that's really not the point--there isn't a strong point or reward system in the game, so the satisfaction really comes from rocking out and bogeying down to your favorite tunes (you can even buy more from the game store).  So far, so good--I've had the game for about two weeks now and it's still holding my interest and making me sweat.  The first time I played it my arms hurt so bad that they woke me up that night, if that's any indication of the level of workout you can get from this.  In terms of cardio, it's much more entertaining than the programming provided on the Wii Fit, though the Fit still provides necessary Yoga, Balance, and Strength training that this game does not.

Alula

The New Season of Our Lives

I am coming to realize that this year is holding more change than the typical year in our group.

Munchkin, your timer in the margin is getting set to run out, and there will be another new baby in our next generation and a new dynamic in our group and interactions.

Q, your husband will be out of school and starting into the "real world" with a career.  I also suspect that you will be facing some decisions soon about school, work, and family.

Lady A has a new boyfriend (you don't know him), and is considering going on a spirit quest to figure out what she wants from life.  Our Ambassador sent me an email that he has been accepted to graduate school to study history and will be moving back home from China this summer so that he can start in the fall.  (Ironically, there is a better than normal chance that one or both of these individuals will live in my spare room at some point in the coming year.)

I am finishing and leaving school, at least for the time being, and (HOPEFULLY) getting a job in the mean time.  I plan on spending more time with family and my books.  Mr. Borealis is looking to make a change in jobs if he can, and now he will be the one in school instead of me.

We have officially launched our business, and we have a website, and it will be interesting to see where that goes in the coming year.

So in preparation of these events, we have business to attend to:

-We need a new counter for our blog.  What's our next "big thing", y'all?

-Since the Ambassador will be back in town, would we like to do another pool on his life?  (Lady A has informed me that she finds this idea distasteful, but I feel we have only done this in good fun.  He's a cool guy with a fast-paced life who would probably be thrilled to know a group of women was gossiping about him.)

-If we were a television series, all of these changes would definitely demarcate a cliffhanger ending and start of a new season.  It's time for a new blog theme--thoughts on what it should look like or incorporate?

Alula

Just when I thought I was done...

The graduate school has fired off a new form for me to fill out before I can graduate.  I need to petition the school to have two classes I took as an advanced undergraduate student towards my MA.  Yes, being punished for overachieving.  I call 'em like I see 'em; and this smells like bull to me.  (sigh--doing the paperwork because I understand the need to formally document things 'for the record', but still smells like a delay tactic to get another semester of tuition out of me.)

I am still unable to finish my incomplete from last spring; the professor hasn't posted the assignments I need to do yet.  I am down to 4 weeks to finish this thing, so ready to be done with it, and the professor won't post the work I need to do.

I am once again on the publishing bandwagon; I need to get this done.  Recently I agonized over whether or not I should push to try and get in to my desired PhD program since the deadline has passed.  Mr. Borealis has been put in a situation because he thought, with 2 master's degrees, that I would have a job by now.  He dislikes the idea of my unemployment more than he dislikes the idea of my staying in school to keep a job.  But, I don't think I can get back into the program until fall of next year.

So now, I think I have resigned myself to focusing on writing and getting published until that time rolls around. Once again, seeking editors.

Alula

Musing--Freelancing?

Yesterday I got a phone call from my former academic advisor (for my MLS).  Somehow she was talking to someone who runs a museum/archive for one of the national parks and they need a website, can't hire a professional, and my name came up (lol!).  She called and left me a message asking how my job search is going, and if I would be willing to take a look at this particular client's website needs and how much I would charge.  I also keep getting emails from people I don't know either through my school listserv or saying "hey, I know (insert name here) and s/he said you might be able to give me advice on blogs/websites/digital collections".  It seems that librarians I know have recognized that I have an above average knowledge of these subjects relative to the field, and that I can also relate things in a language they understand.  It probably also doesn't hurt that I've been consulting for free--I did this for several classmates while they were building their capstone e-portfolios.  I'm also doing it for my brother now.  (Munchkin--I meant to tell you I met with my brother, we talked, and it went GREAT.  Your emotional intelligence astounds me, and your methods worked great despite my own social awkwardness.)

I'm kind of wondering if I should go freelance, at least until I either locate a "real" job or figure out if it's worth the time and effort.  Along this line, I started thinking about how Fuzzy (at one point) was talking about selling her business paperwork skills to crafters who may need help navigating these issues to run their businesses (I still think this is a fantastic idea).  I wonder if I could market my skills through our business and offer to build/manage/consult on client crafter websites?

Yes, I realize we still need to get our own website up and running.  At this point, it's mostly an issue of buying a domain name and figuring out if we want to host it separately.  This costs money, not a lot (maybe up to $15/yr on the domain and around $10/month on hosting), and I would be willing to front these costs for the business if my own financial outlook were slightly more certain.  I figure the website has been my arena, so it only makes sense that I would invest those startup costs and earn them back from online sales; that way if the website tanks due to my own ineptness, only my time/money investment, and not the business's, is lost.

I'm thinking this kind of "consulting" model could bring in more business for us by roping in crafters who already run their own sites.  Links between sites can really boost your search engine listing, so if we were to say "hey, we'll do some free consulting for you to improve your traffic and website navigability" in exchange for some friendly linking to each other's sites, everybody wins.

What does everyone think?

Alula

A Big Decision

I have just decided that I am going to self-publish my books.  For the record, yes, I am 98% sure.  I have never written a query letter to an agent or publisher.  However, I have a feeling that self-publishing will be the main channel of publishing in the future.  So, here goes nothing...

I need to get around to making final edits on the Waldgrave series.  I am also trying to put together cover art (If anyone has ideas or suggestions for this, feel free--please don't get offended if I decide to go a different direction, though).  I am kind of hoping to create my own cover art.  

Here is my list of priorities:

1) Finish the homework assignments for the incomplete I had to take in NLP spring semester

2) Take the NLP final exam, thereby finishing the incomplete

3) Study for (and hopefully pass) my comps for my MA

4) Self Publish the Waldgrave Series

Oh, I forgot to mention--my interview for the library position I want is on Monday (and I REALLY want it--I don't know what I'll do if I don't get it...).

Alula

Accomplishing too much

Since getting out of school, I have done the following:

-bought a few new games for my PSP, which I am new playing.  One of them is called Class of Heroes; it's kind of Harry Potter meets classic D&D.  A group of students attends a school for adventurers and goes on dungeon raids where turn-taking fights ensue.  I bought it used and on sale through GameStop along with two other games for 1/4 the cost of a new pair of shoes!  

-I am now rewriting Redemption in the 3rd person and with a more generous narrative.  Anyone who wants in on this editing project, contact me.

-I am attempting to beat all of the campaigns in Zoo Tycoon 2.  I am halfway there.

-My MIL the Librarian got me a wok for Xmas, which I now cook with daily, and all the chicken breast and veggie stir fry is part of my campaign to lose weight.  (Anyone who would like to adjust their resolutions for this year, please email me--I did well this year except for my weight, which is now higher than ever since the fast food binge I went on while Mr. Borealis was sick the first half of the year.)

-I finally talked myself into treating myself to some new skins from Decal Girl.  I have never had a skin from this company before, but the reviews are very good.  I'm getting one for my Barnes & Noble Nook and another for my new phone.

-Speaking of new phone--I wanted to get an LG Ally, but it turns out this phone has been discontinued (LG, I feel this is a bad move, as the slide out keyboard is a very functional feature that does not usurp screen space to use).  Instead, I am getting the LG Vortex.  I should have it in hand by the end of this week--review to follow.

-My husband got me Hermione Granger's Time Turner for Christmas.  I was very impressed by this present, because I never directly told him I wanted it, but I really love it.  

-I've made it through a few more rounds towards the library position I am applying for, which I still dearly hope I get.

-We went to Oklahoma between Xmas and New Years.  We drove with my family.  At the last minute, my brother decided to come, bringing two of his kids along (7 & almost 5).  My husband and I got to drive in the car with my dad and the 7-year-old; she traveled very well.  However, my mom and my sister shop WAY too much, and we had too much luggage (for TWO cars, mind you) on the way home, resulting in airline-like seating conditions.  Once again, Mr. B and I have vowed that we will never again drive with family out to Oklahoma--we will take our own car.  The gas money is worth it to have the leg room, stop when we want, listen to what we want, and not have to mind our language.

-I have fully organized my basement using the shelves Mr. B got for me for our anniversary.  The room is now functional.

-I read The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins on the way back from Oklahoma.  Actually, I started reading it in a Barnes & Noble in Tulsa using the "read for free" feature on the Nook while using my Nook coupon for a free raspberry smoothie.  The smoothie was awesome, and the first chapter of The Hunger Games was so good that I felt $5 was worth it to get the whole book.  The storyline follows Katniss, a teenage girl who finds herself entered into the morbid Hunger Games that are orchestrated by the Capitol--twenty-four children are picked ever year to fight to the death in these games for the Capitol's amusement, and the winner takes home food and glory to their District.  (I can lend this book from my Nook, so let me know if you're interested.  Also, check out the free e-reader screensavers Barnes & Noble are offering here.)

Alula

Serendipity

So, we are not moving to Montana!  (Both sad and happy for reasons previously discussed.)

Mr. B could not get the potential employer to agree to a salary he wanted--literally a matter of about 5K a year. Plus, my mom had a minor freakout when I told her.  She told me that my brother had been let go from work, and that at the moment he and his wife were both unemployed with 4 kids between them.  My sister was mid-finals and of questionable emotional stability, so she couldn't even think about telling her until finals were over.  My grandmother would miss living across the street from me.

And that was about the point that I realized, I am one of the few points of stability that holds the craziness of my family together right now.  My brother has a habit of springing life changing situations on us without warning.  My sister's emotions are constantly on a roller coaster.  I'm the responsible child who got a spouse and a house and a college education and a successful job; I'm the person my family calls when something important needs to happen, because I can be trusted to check in on Grandma.  I can talk to my sister when she's having "one of those days".  I can watch the nieces and nephews when their parents are having a medical emergency.

Between those two issues--the pay wasn't good enough and our families--we decided not to take the offer.

However, this decision comes with repercussions.  Mr. B was so upset by not being able to settle on the salary and turning down the offer that he said some pretty nasty things about my job, and a minor fight ensued.  He later apologized and admitted that he's just frustrated with life because his job has reneged on career ladder promises.  We had a heart-to-heart about how worried he is about losing his job and neither of us having medical benefits.  About two weeks ago he very sincerely told me he was worried for me and our marriage if I stayed in school because I am a glutton for punishment and tend to overload on courses.

Ultimately, he asked me not to enroll in a PhD program.  Not straight out of two Master's programs, anyways--he said I could go back, but that he really thought I needed some time on the outside.  My parents and Q had each spoken to me separately about this as well (Q, I want to clarify that I am a member of the "real world"--I do real research at a real job that pays real and really good money--but I get what you're trying to say).  So I decided, based on the people who know me best telling me to, that I am putting off the PhD.

Unfortunately, losing my student status means I also lose my job.  So Tuesday night after making this decision, I started applying for jobs online, and was pleased to see there were about 6 in my area right now for academic or research librarians.  I made a mental note to swing through the library at my work to ask if the librarians I know there could introduce me to anyone working at places I was applying to.

I go in to the library Wednesday to talk to a friend there.

Me: (after long-winded explanation...) "...So I am not starting the PhD program in the spring."

Friend: "So you're losing student status."

Me: "Yeah."

Friend:  "Are you looking for a job?"

Me: "Yes."

Friend (raises eyebrows):  "Have you applied here?"

Me (shrugs indifferently):  "Do you have an opening?"

Friend:  "Uh, yeah!"

And less than 24 hours after starting the job search, I have a good shot at a job.  And not just any job, but one that would allow me to keep working where I'm currently working, keep working with my researchers, and keep doing my research while also getting job experience in the library.  It's a win-win-win situation; I'm happy, husband is happy, and work is happy.

I can't help but think that the Universe is just on my side this time.

And someday, I can still complete a PhD.

Alula

Montana.

I knew it felt different this time.  He got the offer for the job in Montana.  It pays really well.  16K worth of relocation expenses will be paid for us.

In Montana.

He hasn't accepted the offer yet.  I would like to say I have a chance of finding a job good enough to keep us here, but it feels like I'm circling the drain on this one.

I had to tell my supervisors today, and they were upset.  Not at me--they are upset that I'm leaving.  They told me not to worry because they would figure it out once I was gone, but now they're making phone calls on my behalf seeing if they can find job opportunities for me or find a way to keep my job even if I have to relocate.  They've assured me they will give excellent references if called.

I'm really pretty depressed right now.

Alula

More Montana...and Maine?

Well, I was wrong about the population of the town in Montana.  I had quoted the population for the city and two surrounding counties.  The actual population of the "city" we could potentially be moving to is about 30,000 (half of the town I currently live in).

Mr. Borealis went to his interview in Minneapolis for the position in Montana yesterday.  It went well, though he said they kept stressing the point that the position was "in Montana", and he had to sign a waiver acknowledging that he knew the position was in Montana, and he would relocate there, if he were offered and accepted the job position.  Apparently it's hard to get people to move out there, and they wanted to make it clear in his mind that he would, in fact, be living in Montana.

I ask you:  Does it make a city more or less of a place if it qualifies for listing on ePodunk.com??

He also got an email on Monday from the folks in Maine.  (Did I tell you about Maine...?)  He had previously been turned down for a phone interview because he didn't want to pay his way to fly out for an in-person interview (the Minneapolis people paid for him to fly out).  They later sent him a personal note apologizing for not being able to accommodate his phone interview, and then the email came saying they had held on to his resume and wanted to talk to him about a different position.

I have decided it's more likely than not at this point that we are moving out of state; don't know where, don't know when.  Dodging one bullet is a feat, but now I've got two coming straight at me.  I am thoroughly stuck halfway between two worlds: one where I am a hard working professional with my career laid out before me, and one where I am exhausted and doing terrible things to my health by taking too many hours at work and school (both fueling each other at this point--need student status to keep job, need job to pay for school), waiting for Prince Charming to take me away from it all before I hurt myself.

I need advice.  Badly.

Alula