Too personal?

You've been warned.  Don't read the last paragraph if you don't want to get too personal.

I am cruising right along through writing my next book.  While none of you are required to shamelessly promote via social networks, friends, or family, I will buy you coffee on demand if you do.  ;)

I am trying to figure out how personal is too personal to post on my author blog, and in fact, I have been having trouble figuring out what to say there in general.  Ideas are welcome.

I am similarly looking for ideas on things to put in my office cubicle.  I think I need stuff that is professional, but personal.  But not too personal.  Ideas are welcome.

(Personal Stuff Below)

I've been having feminine issues of an unpleasant nature lately, and it's not a UTI, and it's not a yeast infection, and it's not a pregnancy, and it's not an STD (these things I am sure of).  I've made an appointment with the doctor, however, the office called me back because they "had some questions about the appointment I made online" (I'm with Kaiser).  So I call them back immediately when I get home and hear the message, and get someone who is clearly reading from a script (I can hear her whispering stuff under her breath to herself like "If the patient has a card number, then go to the..."), so I am guessing she was new.  It is 4:55 when I called.  She immediately tells me that if she transfers me, she's not sure if I will get anyone in OB/GYN because they close at five.  I say "That's fine, go ahead and transfer me--I can't call them during regular business hours because I have no privacy at work.  Please note in my file to have them email instead of call for that reason."  She goes on, saying she's not sure, puts me on hold to do something, comes back three minutes later, still isn't sure..."Just go ahead and transfer me."  "Oh, well, because it's so late..."  (pause, typing noises, me watching the clock tick down to 5) "...I'm just not sure if anyone will be there.  I will message them about the email, though.  Would you like to have their number so you can call them tomorrow from work?"

"No.  Just transfer me, PLEASE!"


Good god y'all.  I have a great deal of respect for people who deal with people on the phone--I work with people who do it for a living, and it can be hellacious.  But seriously, what part of transfer me before everyone leaves isn't clear?  Seriously?

Alula

Journey to the Center of the Uterus!

Hey Ladies,

( I am alive)

I have been off birth control for over a year now, and alas, my eggo has yet to become prego. We had a sit down with a specialist on Monday. We reviewed my blood work from a month ago, and its not showing anything totally obvious. My vitamin D is crazy low, not super shocking; its a 7 and the number they look for is 30. I will be receiving a remedial course of vitamin D over the next two months. Two doctors over the last year seemed to think I have PCOS, but this new guy, does think that is not the case, so he is retesting. I have received a vaginal ultra sound and every thing was normal! I have very pretty eggs nestled in my belly. YEAH! Tomorrow they are putting dye up my cervix to see if my tubes are working. It can be very painful and I am really looking forward to it. Mr Q, will also be receiving in-depth testing, he, will will be getting friendly with a cup.

Its worth it!

Q

Grandparents...

My dad got a call today from my aunt. Apparently my grandma (the crazy one in LA) is very out of it and confused. She either took her whole week's worth of meds or none for several days and set a fire in her kitchen on accident. And then she couldn't find the alarm pad that she sets every day. My aunt and my cousin took her to the ER. My dad and my other aunt are headed out there tomorrow. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

The Last Day

Today was my last day at my job.  I'm pretty darn depressed about it right now; I really love this job.

I love the people I work with, the work I do, and the work environment.  It's hard to find something that good, and it's very hard to leave something that good.  My coworkers took me out to lunch today, and even got me a graduation/going away present--they got me a Longs Peak bench mark paperweight.  It's symbolic because I have graduated, and hence hit a "peak" in my life worthy of noting and measuring future accomplishment against.  I believe I will return to get my PhD and become a researcher; I feel that I belong with these people.  Onward to the next big thing, the next bench mark, as it were.

In answer to Fuzzy's question, I've been sick.  For the last month.  I was sick all of last week, but worked anyways in a desperate attempt to finish up all of the work I had left before leaving my job.  I failed, but it's okay because it's all ongoing type work that I can continue to contribute to (blah blah blah "but you're not getting paid" and whatever else--it's called pride in workmanship, people; my name is going on it, and I will be satisfied before I call it done, paid or not).  Then, I forced myself to take a camping vacation last weekend, where I unintentionally hiked a nearly 3 mile trail with a runny nose, cough, and not as much water as I would have preferred.  I complained the whole way, which probably wasn't much fun for the others on the hike, but I didn't die, which was a plus.

All in all, I am expecting to have a low week.  I am crawling into a hole to reflect and figure out what I'm going to do with myself now.

Alula

Pictures from my illness

Thought you might enjoy pictures of my quality of life while I've been sick this week.  

This is what it looks like when I lie down: 

Note the expression on Count's face--it says "try to make me move and I will hobble you, warmth bringer."

Here is what it looks like when I get up:

Alula

Gross

So Sunday night I came home from a whirlwind weekend feeling pretty low.  I had some bad allergies and muscle aches, which I had attributed to walking five miles for various graduation functions, volunteer shelving at the library, cleaning out and doing home improvement on 3 of our upstairs closets, being outside too much during allergy season, and generally not sleeping well for a collection of reasons.  I hurt, but I thought it was nothing.

Monday morning I woke with a major sore throat, which I thought was just a run-of-the-mill head cold.  I got them all the time as a kid.  I wrote in to work that I was taking a day to sleep it off.  Within an hour, the pain had moved from my throat to my ears, and I texted my sister (the audiologist) for advice and my mom for a heating pad.  I took some OTC painkillers and laid down to ride it out after a Google search turned up that most doctors recommend the same unless the ear infection is "serious" or lasts too long.  

Within three hours, I was in so much pain I was unable to get up from the couch.  I still hadn't heard back from my mom or sister.  Then fluid started to come out of the afflicted ear, the pain dropped substantially, and I thought I was going to be okay--I texted my sister with this information, and she quickly called back to tell me that the relief had come because my ear drum had burst (relieving the pressure) but that I was in for a good deal of new trouble soon.

I went to sleep with a tissue pressed against my leaking ear, and I woke up at 4 in the afternoon once again in too much pain to do much of anything about being in pain.  My mom dropped off a heating pad and I put on a brave face while she fixed me some noodles; she had the kids with her, so we both wanted her out of my house before anyone got infected, but she promised to send my sister over.  My sister stopped by after work with her ear scope thingy and gave me a look before saying that yes, my right ear drum had perforated and was leaking blood and pus, and the left ear drum looked like it could follow.  She asked for my insurance card and started making calls while I continued to lay on the couch moaning pathetically.  My husband got home somewhere in there, they shuffled me into less revealing sleepwear and then Mr. B whisked me off to the after hours ER. 

My heart rate was 150, my white count was 20 (the doctor told me she considered 7-9 to be "high range"), and I was severely dehydrated.  When I told them that my ear drum had popped after only about 4 hours of ear pain preceding, they went into emergency containment mode thinking I might have Bacterial Meningitis because it had come on so fast and so serious; however, this was quickly discounted due to a lack of other symptoms.  They IV'd me and put me on drugs to calm my body down.  Four hours later they were still looking for the missing infection somewhere in my body to make my white count so high, but they never found it.  They sent me home with prescription painkillers, antibiotics, and advice to stay on the couch for a while.  On the bright side, everything that happened during the visit--the EKG for my heart, the medications, the blood tests, everything--only costs us $100 because we're on Kaiser right now, and have a flat rate for ER admissions.  

I now have temporary hearing loss in my right ear until the ear drum closes and heals, and my ear is discharging some gross stuff.  The biggest issue has been the pressure--the tear in my ear drum is small, which is good because it will likely heal on its own, but is bad because it doesn't drain efficiently.  Fluid keeps building up until it reaches critical mass and pushes out, and the pressure is hella uncomfortable.  

Exciting, right?  My word of the week is gross.

Alula

2 Deaths and 1 Birth?

Ladies -

I am currently awaiting the news that two of my relatives have passed away, and to see when I go into labor.

My Great Uncle on my mother's side is on his second trip to hospice, and is now on only morphine, and to my knowledge doesn't even have a feeding tube anymore. He really is a remarkable man. Though he is mentally retarded (and yes I will not be PC because that's what he refers to himself as) he has a wonderful big heart, tons of friends and loves Elmo. He deserves to be remembered as the gentle, kind and childlike giant that he was once he passes.

Also, my Great Grandfather J (on my dad's side) is now on his second trip to the hospital and has had a relative with him non-stop each day to make sure he's got someone there is he goes. This has incredible strength and perseverance. At 67 years old he obtained his private pilot's license (he's the only other pilot in my family) strictly because he wanted to. He's had girl friends that just love him silly, and drove himself from place to place without issue until just the past couple years. He will be dearly missed by everyone who's met him when he passes on to the next life.

In the face of all this sadness, I am planning on bringing joy to my families by adding my newborn boy. This could happen as soon as Monday. I sincerely hope that I my Great Grandpa J can hold on long enough to let me get up there to introduce him to his first Great Great Grandchild. I've been planning on making that trip up there before he died since I found out I was pregnant. Though I would still make the trip for the rest of the family's sake, I specifically wanted to go to see him and let him meet the baby.

At this time, I pray for an easy passing for both my relatives if it is their time to go, and I pray for a delivery without complication.

~Munchkin

Sad news

This morning my grandmother passed away.  She had a stroke several weeks ago.  The doctors had her in rehabilitation therapy, but I guess she developed some chest congestion over the weekend, and she died early this morning.  It was kind of unexpected, because she was in therapy to get better.  It wasn't until yesterday they started to say that she likely wouldn't be with us much longer.

To clarify, this was my grandmother in North Carolina.  She was my dad's step mom, but she married my grandfather when my dad was still a child, so she was responsible for a good deal of his upbringing.  My dad was with her when she passed this morning.

I have an email out to my graduate advisor now to see if I can reschedule my comprehensive exam (supposed to happen this Friday) in the event that it conflicts with the funeral.  No word on when the funeral is going to be yet. I'm not sure what I'm going to do if that exam can't be rescheduled; the bloodsucking leach of a graduate school requires students to register in the semester they take the exam, and it is only offered once per year.  The cost of the required one credit hour?  ~$2,500.  If they do not let me reschedule for an unexpected death and postpone my graduation by a year, I will be pissed.  I have been studying like crazy for this stupid test.  ANd it really is a stupid test--the MA is made up of two parts: 36 credit hours worth of classes, and a 4-hour written exam.  Anyone who thinks these two aspects balance 50/50 needs a brain scan, because if 5 semesters of graduate study can be cancelled out by one 4 hours exam, there is something wrong.  That alone really has me hating the school right now.

I'm feeling a little surreal right now.  I put off calling because initially things were so confused, and my dad went out to help his dad, and he promised to keep us all informed via email (he did).  Then she was busy doing her physical therapy and seemed to be improving and all her kids were coming out to see her, but she was having trouble during the downtime and had to be sedated because she was pulling at her tubes (she had a feeding tube and sometimes a breathing apparatus because she lost control of the right side of her body).  Then she had to be sedated more and more, and she wasn't aware of who or what was around her--I never got a phone call.  I should have called, even if she wasn't aware when it happened.

Alula

Update Time

I am finally 27 weeks pregnant! In 10 more weeks I will have the cerclage removed and will begin my maternity leave. It's been a wonderful feeling knowing that I must only endure another 10 weeks of insanity. As long as everything goes well and I don't end up in pre-term labor I'll be on cloud nine.

I did spend a few days with Mr. Munchkin to make up the missed holidays which was much needed. Unfortunately, we spent my first night off in the hospital because I got food poisoning. I'd lost 3 pounds and they were worried that I may have upset the cerclage with all the vomiting. Luckily the stitches were great, and I turned out to only be severally dehydrated (an easy fix for an IV).

My family and I have had some rough times recently. My mother is having horrible side effects from her lupus. She's lost over 50lbs and her blood pressure and pulse are extremely low. She's also going through menopause, so between the two of us hormones are constantly flying and this tension has brought us to loud arguments a couple of times. My mother-in-law has finally talked to us again, and we spent January 1st with her. Though it was awkward, I think things are getting better on that front again too, though she still claims she is just going to take off for the holidays to go wherever she pleases.

Preparing for the baby has been really fun, and the invitations for the Baby Shower will be sent out soon.

This year I only have two resolutions:

1) Play my instruments at least 2 times a week for 30 minutes at a time.

2) Find a job that I can do at home, that will give me enough money to pay for my school loans.

I am finally going to make a Facebook page to keep in better touch with my family and friends. I'll let you all know via email what the name I use is.

Happy New Year to EVERYONE!

~Munchkin

Oh Baby!

Oh baby!

This is a short narrative of how I remember the most exciting and terrifyong Tuesday of my life to date.

It started out just like any other normal work day, but this day was to be much different. I was scheduled to get out early at (2pm) so I could go have my twenty week ultrasound (I was actually 21 weeks 2 days but wanted to wait for hubby) where we were going to check out my little one to make sure everthing was going great and find out the sex.

The ultrasound was going great, we almost instanly found we were having a healthy baby boy, to which my husband jumped out of his chair and pumped his fist to that news. The tech let me know that after we did the abdominal she was going to do an "internal" one just to double check everything was great. The abdomial lasted another 25 minutes where our boy showed off for the camera while she measured him top to bottom.

Then we were on to the dreaded interal wandy one... during this check the tech was making sure that something she saw on the abdominal one was all in her head. Unfortunately for me, it wasn't. The tech said is a very calm and collected voice, "Hmmm.... that's what I was afraid of... your cervix is just too thin." Then before our eyes she watched my cervix grow longer. It was fluctuating between 8mm and 2.6cm, which is just plain crazy. For a healthy pregnancy they want to see at least 3cm at all times until you approach 36 or so weeks.

The tech went quickly to inform my doctor of her unusual findings, and they gave me a room and an appointment even though the appointment portion of my visit wasn't scheduled till today. My doctor got on the phone with a high risk OB office in Denver and she let me know that I needed to go get a couple stitches to keep my cervix from opening and letting the little guy out.

I was driven to Denver that night and had an emergency operation performed on my cervix to save my pregnancy. The whole night and day were absolutely a blind siding. I'm now on bed reast at least until Tuesday when they can check out the stitches to make sure they are good.

I'll keep you all posted on the status of my stiuation, but until then just hope hard for my mental sake that I won't have to stay in bed until the kid is born.

~Minchkin

Stunning news

So...

My sister is getting married!  She's been with her fiance for about 5 months, and I'm very happy for her.  I am a little concerned, because she seemingly hasn't been with this guy for a long time (She's had relationships in the past stretching for 1-2 years), but some people are just like that--they hit an age or a time when they just become ready for the whole marriage thing, and perhaps that's the way it is with her, and she's finally found the one.  I've never met her fiance; my mom really likes him, so I'm looking forward to meeting him.

(Just fyi about the above...I'm not sure how "out" this is supposed to be, so please hold off on spreading this news or congratulating her on any public social networking sites.)

Apparently I'm not allowed to tell my brother, because my sister and my mom are engaging in some sort of weird familial hazing revenge.  My sister is just going to "wear the ring around for a bit and let him figure it out for himself".  (For anyone who missed this section of my life, my brother waited until his girlfriend was in her third trimester to tell us she was pregnant.  He also neglected to tell us that he got married to her a while back.  My mom was very understandably hurt by the whole situation of not being told.)  My sister made a point of telling my mom first, and now, I am apparently asked not to tell my brother.  It's my sister's engagement, so I am honoring that request (to honor her engagement, and not because I believe in perpetuating an atmosphere of secrecy).

I am sick as all get out since Tuesday night; I think I caught a bad cold or the flu when I attended out-of-state class last weekend.

Alula

Frogs, Twisted Metal, and Maine

Update on frogs: the next day, two more frogs died.  I swapped out more of the water, and the last frog looked fine.  I was really hoping he was going to make  it.  Then, today, I discovered him dead.  I don't know what happened, but it is an incredibly sad moment for me; I've had those frogs since my early teen years.

Mr. B and I drove out to Emporia, Kansas, over the weekend to attend a class weekend.  He spent the three nights before the trip trying to fix up his car with his dad because there are several problems he's let go for a while (the catalytic converter, some small parts in need of replacing, and the noise it makes when he turns the wheel, just to name a few).  He managed to replace the small parts, but they didn't have time for the "big" stuff.  Mr. B's dad assured him the car would make the trip.  Then, getting dinner Saturday night, Mr. B fouled a U-turn into a field and something went CLA-CLUNK under the car.  Mr. B assured me we just hit a rock, but I was sure I felt something break in the wheel well next to my feet on the passenger side.  Then, driving back on Sunday, we make a pit stop and I see Mr. B looking under the car.  Then he's calling his dad.

Then I look under the car.  There's a twisted metal chunk hanging out from under the passenger side front wheel, and something dripping out of the engine.  His dad couldn't identify it (and still can't, beyond the fact that it was some kind of wheel/axle support--we think the clear fluid may have just been condensation of some sort), but told us that if the wheels were turning, it was probably okay.  We made it home.

I'm now hoping that Mr. B will somehow start taking care of problems with his car when they occur instead of waiting until the last possible moment.  (Fat chance, but I can wish.)

Mr. B is now applying for jobs in Maine, and I am finding myself kind of hoping he gets one.  Property is extremely cheap out there because the average yearly income is so low (like 3bed2bath on acreage with a river for 50K cheap).  It would disappointed me to have to leave my job here, but it's nice to dream of running away to a little farmhouse with a library job and time to write.  :)

Alula

Everything in my life (including the kitchen sink)

What's new with me...?

Well, not too terribly much. I'm inundated with obligations, as usual. :)

I'm glad to hear that the business is moving along! Thanks for being the primary on this one, because I don't know if it would be humanly possible for me to take on more right now. I've been assigned room configuration for the Annual All-Hands Meeting at work next week (tables, chairs, setup, take down, A/V, etc., for all 40 participants). I'm still frantically trying to pull together a PhD advisory committee and application, and figure out funding. We've had funding cuts, and some additional drama at work, that has meant a higher up has decided to cut parts of the tuition funding option at work--I may be on my own for half, and up to all, of the tuition cost of school. Get this: after doing the math, I still make more money keeping my job and paying 10K of it to school than any other option (lottery aside). I'm mid-semester, taking 4 classes, and in another group project (yay.).

Mr. B's health is up and down, and we recently started to seriously investigate a move to the North West. Sure, I would lose my job, and the PhD option, but we've had some issues with family lately--his mother misses him. So we've spent the last 6 weekends in a row with them (not an exaggeration). She's upset about his health and puts him on a major guilt trip every time he says we're too busy (or we want to spend time together...alone). I'm trying to gently get her to understand that she's doing real harm to my marriage because we're straining to accommodate her needs. We need out, and we like the rain, so we figure Washington state might not be terrible, and as it turns out jobs in both our fields are plentiful there.

But enough of the serious: here's some fun and quirky.

Mr. B has recently discovered audio books, and likes to listen to them on his long commutes. We check them out from the online 2 week downloadables at our local library. He's now listened to Ender's Game, Speaker for the Dead, The Golden Compass, and a few others. We're discussing books together, a long-held dream that I never thought would be reality. We're considering an Audible account in the future, but right now the library is working out really well (FREE!).

We watched Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog at the last movie night, and it was truly AWESOME. Anyone who hasn't seen this 45-minute short film needs to. It's about an aspiring super villain and his bid to join the Evil League of Evil.

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of getting our cats. They're a year and a few months old now, and having left their kitten years, they're now teenagers discovering who they really are. They've discovered that now that they are able to sit still long enough, watching birds out of the kitchen window is a really fun pursuit. And where they used to run themselves until they passed out wherever, they are now more selective in their sleeping habits, and discovering certain preferences for location and position:

My garden continues to grow. It survived despite a recent, near apocalyptic, hail storm. It hailed marble-sized hail for a solid ten minutes, and it looked like snow when it was done: everything was 3-6 inches deep in white. It pummeled one of my birdhouses to the point of actually breaking it (repairable). But the wind direction just barely saved my garden, and the peas are doing very well.

My niece was cast a Bell in a kid's version of Beauty and the Beast, and she remembered all of her lines (pretty good for a 7-year-old!).

My diet is back on track, and I've finally lost all of the hospital weight I put on during the first 4 months of the year--the Wii Mr. B got for his birthday is helping. I think I'm going to give myself a 6 month grace period to finish my yearly resolutions due to all of the craziness this year.

Oh, our kitchen sink disposal also needed replacing recently. It was old, and it sprung a leak and I didn't figure it out until after cleaning out the fridge and putting it all down the drain (messy).

Alula

Attack

Well my three injuries have happened glad to have that over! I massively sprained/bruised by foot and ankle falling down some stairs. Fell over some bricks in my front yard getting a nice slice in my other leg probably should gotten stitches didn't, and then I had a girl scout land on me when I was running the climbing wall at work completely messing up my back those girls need to listen to directions like telling me when they are coming down. Well that's over we will what the klutz comes up with next! Working on the online store not as fast as I would like but I am trying I promise. Little man and I will be visiting this weekend to have some fun and do some business stuff. Oh and little man decided to see if an entire roll of toilet paper would flush down the toilet guess what it doesn't. And my fish are trying to eat each other for some reason I just can't figure out which one is doing it and no I don't know their names. And my plants are dieing because I have no Garden to put them in because Mr Man is working 12 hrs a day 6 days a week so he has no time to help me. And it just rained for 2 days straight and the river is running even higher here come the floods. Well that's the down and dirty on my life what everyone else up to? See who I will see this weekend.

Fuzzy

Catching up with Spring

Spring sprang this year while I was frantically trying to wrap up last semester and deal with the various health problems that have sprung up in the last month. Mr. B now has stomach ulcers, severe acne, and swiftly dramatic mood swings from the various medications he's on. They put him on more medications to control these side effects and (oh, joy!) they come with the following side effects of their own: severe dehydration, risk of vitamin A toxicity, propensity to sunburn, and depression. Original side effects are still an issue, BTW. He has to take percocet to sleep because his face and stomach hurt so much. He has trouble shaving because they razor rips open the sores on his face. I feel so bad for him.

He's now on Accutane for the acne, and I'm not allowed to touch the medication because I'm a woman of childbearing years and it causes severe birth defects (no joke--the doctor didn't want to discuss what it did, so I looked it up and found pictures of two headed animals).

I'm now trying to catch up with the things I usually get done in the spring. Things like planting a garden and finishing school (I took an incomplete in my natural language processing class--I still need help with the homeworks).

But my garden came together, and I have parsley, sunflowers, wildflowers, pumpkins, gourds, peas, and pinto beans sprouting up so far. I'm hoping that the coleus clippings I've been fostering all winter take to the outdoors without issue.

In other news, Mr. B got a Wii for his birthday from his mother, and we're thrilled. (I'm not sure exactly what's up with this, because as you may remember, we got super expensive Xmas gifts as well. She's never been this extravagent before, and we're a little worried we're about to get bad news of some sort. That or she's bargaining for a grandchild--still not going to happen. Or she was visited by the ghosts of Xmas past.) And I finally got around to setting up the fountain my MIL got me for my birthday last year in our back courtyard, and am now enjoying a light pre-thunder storm breeze through the screen door while listening to the subtle trickle of the water.

Gnigel my mini garden gnome (thanks again, DoHP!) watches over the coleus.

The garden as it is today.

My new fountain! My MIL got the pot for it, I got the sandstones from Home Depot, and I rigged the rest from bamboo garden stakes and an old metal accent plate I had hanging around.

Alula

Ulcers, Job Interviews, and Quiet Babies

He went off of his prednisone about two weeks ago, and weird symptoms have been popping up ever since. He sleeps 16+ hours a day and is still tired. He has no appetite but he's always thirsty. And he's really nauseas at night, and sometimes has to get up to vomit (sometimes more than once, and the anti-nausea medication doesn't help).

Worried? Yes, I am. The doctor thinks he has stomach ulcers. I think he may have an adrenal deficiency since stopping the pred. And for reasons of his untimely success, he's having trouble getting in to the doctor.

Today he has a job interview for a field economist position. He also got a call back for an examiner position with the government last Friday, and returned the call this morning. They want to fly him out of state for the final interview this coming Friday (this position is local to our state, but involves a good deal of travel to neighboring states--it's kind of the job he has now, but at the federal level instead of the state level). He also has a blood test this afternoon.

So between taking most of the day today for interviews and blood testing, and taking Friday to fly out of state for an interview, he's hitting a time crunch with his job. Next week isn't much better, but he *needs* to get in to the doctor if he's having some kind of complication here. I told him to call his doctor with the new symptoms--I'm hoping he actually does it.

Also, we attended the birthday party of our niece this weekend. It was held at one of those giant indoor playgrounds, which I remember as being totally awesome when I was a kid. The kids (probably around twenty of them) had a great time, and the whole family was there. I didn't want to let Mr. B come with me, but he had done nothing but sleep all weekend and he wanted to get out of the house. I insisted that indoor playgrounds were cess pools of bacteria and viruses, and I didn't want him going to one without an immune system. He insisted he would use a lot of hand sanitizer. So we went, and had a great time, and then halfway through the party I turn around and see this:

That's my husband. Holding my cousin's 9-month-old, cheerful, quiet, perfect baby that never cries. And they're both laughing and giggling and having a great time. Then my cousin comes back and takes the baby back from him, and he looks all forlorn until she leaves to go down the slide with her 3-year-old (also a very well-mannered, quiet, sweet child) and gives him back the baby. He's all smiles the rest of the day when he gets to play with the baby--he's tickling her chin and "booping" her nose and letting her hold onto his fingers so she can stand up and trying to get her to crawl to him.

Oh boy--not before the PhD, if ever. I swear, he does this just to get on my nerves.

Alula

New "Disease"

Hey Ladies,

I have been seeing a new allergist and he as been running a slew of tests. A few weeks ago I was diagnosed with vocal cord dysfunction, it is not really treatable other than breathing exercises; but it explained why my asthma meds were not helping me breath sometimes.

My doctors English is very poor, so communication has been a hoot for the both of us.

So today at work I was taking my lunch and took a moment to check my voice mail; Its was Doctor calling to tell me that my CT scan from two weeks ago showed that I have Tracheomalacia Its a big fancy work that means the cartilage in my throat is weak, I am not sure how bad it is because I had to hear to the message five times to figure out what it was called. He did call it moderate and I should be hearing from a Otolaryngologis very soon. The treatment for this does not sound all that painful so I am looking on the sunny side.

Q

Reasonable Paranoia

I think Q may be the only person who really understands when I ask the question: Have you ever wondered what would happen if he never came home?

That's where I am right now. It's very dark here.

We came in to the E.R. early Saturday when Mr. B dropped under 120 pounds. They immediately put him on morphine to treat the intense stomach pain he was having, and he's been continuously on it since that point. We were operating under the theory that maybe his system was so shot at that point that he couldn't even digest his pills, so that's why they weren't working.

They upped his vancomycin and added flagyl to the mix. They started giving him his prednisone via i.v. Today he had another round of tests and procedures, and then the results came back that the medications weren't working. He's been put on a liquid diet, which I'm sure his parents are going to #%$^ up shortly, because Mr. B's father is sure he knows better than the doctors. (Last week on Friday, he gave my husband energy gel packs under the premise that they were packed with nutrition and would help bulk him up. For anyone who is an idiot and doesn't read the ingredients and warning on energy supplements, you should NEVER give a hypertonic solution to a dehydrated person who then proceeds to eat it without drinking anything--it results in extreme stomach and intestinal upset, and apparently expedites a trip to the ER. That's what the doctor said when I asked, anyways.)

Tomorrow they are going to start him on Remicade, which will essentially freeze out his immune system. They have to stop his body from attacking itself, and the only way to do that is to remove all immune response to everything. So if he catches a cold, it could kill him, because his body will be incapable of fighting back.

As I said, this is a very dark place. We wash our hands a lot here.

I am behind at work and school, and my house is a god awful mess. I'm sleeping at the hospital every night because I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that if I get used to leaving him at the hospital he might never come home. I try to reason myself out of this, but the analytic part of my brain looks at this and says we've had nothing but bad news so far. This could very easily turn to a situation where Mr. B needs major abdominal surgery to take out his colon, and if that happens, I am terrified of him going into surgery with a BMI of 15. That's not good.

I need people to please stop bringing food. We have enough food--the problem is not that Mr. B doesn't have food. The problem is that he can't eat it, and if he can, he can't digest it. I can live with my messy house, and my crappy grades, and even losing my job, if I have to. What I need is a miracle.

Alula

Home! (...too soon?)

Mr. Borealis was released from the hospital today! :D

However, this evening he's still where he was before he went in, except with different medications and he's ten pounds heavier. I'm a little worried they sent him home too fast because he really pushed to get released. He's feverish again, nauseas, and still has bleeding ulcers.

I keep telling him we can check back in to the hospital at any time because he shouldn't be worried about the cost. We've already maxed out on whatever we would have to pay for insurance to cover everything (we had an emergency fund for such an occasion, and I'm very thankful for that right now). Insurance is kicking in and covered the insane cost of the vancomycin for his bacterial infection--we paid $25, but the cost without insurance is over $600. BTW, we have changed pharmacies to a different chain after Mr. B had trouble filling his Lialda in January, and haven't had a major issue since.

Hoping,

Alula

Sleeping in a Blue Plastic Gown

We're still in the hospital.

Thursday, after all the tests came back, we found out that Mr. B has been colonized by a bunch of bad bacteria (it's called C. Diff). Ironically, as I've found from Googling this online, he was probably exposed to this bacteria back when he was in for his first colonoscopy in January, and then the antibiotics his doctor gave him for a tummy ache gave them fuel to grow. It's been exacerbating his ulcerative colitis to an extreme extent.

C. Diff is easy to treat. Unfortunately, it is also extremely contagious to anyone who has a compromised immune system (so if you are healthy and have a normal immune system, it doesn't pose a threat, but for people who are already sick it can be detrimental). So the hospital makes us all gown up to go into his room to reduce the threat that we bring any spores back out with us:

It's a lot of fun to sleep in a chair that almost fully reclines in this ensemble, let me tell you.

So the plan of action right now is to treat the bacterial infection (it's taken over his entire large intestine at this point) and continue to treat the ulcerative colitis, and hope for the best.

Last night the nurse attempted to double dose my husband by bringing both a full dose of Lialda (which he is supposed to be on) and one of Asacol (which he is not)--both of these drugs contain mesolamine. And they tried to skip his prednisone, which could have stopped his heart, thank God we remembered when the nurse didn't! It got delivered about 6 hours late, but he's still alive.

Alula