reaching the limit

Have you ever come to the point in a relationship that you don't know how much more you can take? I am reaching that point with my man and yes I have kids with him and honestly that is the only thing keeping me here I don't want to take the kids away from him but should he really be out with his friends almost every night? Is that me being unreasonable even unfair? I feel big changes coming in my life and everyone knows how much I love change (she says sarcastically).  I am afraid that I wouldn't be able to give the kids everything they need if I go out on my own, afraid that if I go I will land flat on my face.  I don't want to move in with my mother but that's the only place I would be able to go to start out.  And I don't want to never see my kids because I have to work all the time to make ends meet.  So I could stay for another year or so until my youngest starts preschool or I leave after little man gets out of school at the end of the month. Or I just live like this feeling like the town pariah because everyone knows he prefers to be down at the bar than at home with me and the kids.  I feel like the next few days are really going to tell me what I should do.  Meanwhile I have been applying for jobs in the area near my moms house and looking into getting a continuing education certificate in business management.  Its a lot to take in all at once I just don't know what to do.    

Trees for Earth Day

It's been a while, so hey y'all!

While looking for something to do for Earth Day, I found out that the Arbor Day Foundation gives you 10 tiny trees if you get a $10 membership.  I'm going to order the flowering tree mix today.  It's usually better to try planting trees in the fall, but I figure what the heck...I'll give it a go and see if I can get them established.  If even one in ten makes it, it's a good deal.  We've lost about 10 aspens in the last few years to disease, and our poor little linden isn't doing too great, so this will help to repopulate the yard.

I'm doing well and writing like mad to keep up with my planned publishing schedule.  Mr. Borealis built me a rabbit-proof garden for Valentine's Day, and I went out with with T and started planting on the 15th.  I did take pictures, but unfortunately don't have them on hand to post right now, so I'll have to get them on here later.   :P

Writing, gardening, and cooking constitutes a large part of my hobbies lately.

After all of the excitement in January,  T is going in for what I hope will be his last test tomorrow to see if his kidneys are functioning as they should be.  I'm sure they are, but the whole situation has just created a mess with his doctors.  I get that they want to be careful (and they really do have a reason for concern), but we took him in last week for an unrelated issue and the doctor had ordered antibiotics for a UTI before his urine was even tested.  That's where we are now--the issue at hand was ignored because he's had one UTI, so therefore his kidneys MUST be bad and every issue MUST be a UTI.  His urine came back and no UTI--he just had a virus.  I just want his test tomorrow to come back definitive one way or the other so doctors can stop assuming what's wrong and actually look at the symptoms he has.  Wish us luck.

Alula

Happy New Year!!!

Yes a month late but it is the New Year, so happy new year. 
FYI the kids and I will be at my mom's house starting the 21st-26th.  Little mans spring break.  Hope we can get together!