Friday, May 8, 2015

reaching the limit

Have you ever come to the point in a relationship that you don't know how much more you can take? I am reaching that point with my man and yes I have kids with him and honestly that is the only thing keeping me here I don't want to take the kids away from him but should he really be out with his friends almost every night? Is that me being unreasonable even unfair? I feel big changes coming in my life and everyone knows how much I love change (she says sarcastically).  I am afraid that I wouldn't be able to give the kids everything they need if I go out on my own, afraid that if I go I will land flat on my face.  I don't want to move in with my mother but that's the only place I would be able to go to start out.  And I don't want to never see my kids because I have to work all the time to make ends meet.  So I could stay for another year or so until my youngest starts preschool or I leave after little man gets out of school at the end of the month. Or I just live like this feeling like the town pariah because everyone knows he prefers to be down at the bar than at home with me and the kids.  I feel like the next few days are really going to tell me what I should do.  Meanwhile I have been applying for jobs in the area near my moms house and looking into getting a continuing education certificate in business management.  Its a lot to take in all at once I just don't know what to do.    

3 comments:

Q said...

I think you have some very diffucult choices to make, but I know you are very capible.
Have you talked to him about being gone all the time?
I am not sure giving you advice is the best way to help you, but if I do have advice its that staying another year is a long time to stay with someone who is making you unhappy.
Your family and friends are standing beside you!

Alula Borealis said...

No one can tell you what to do in this situation, because no one else is inside your relationship. I will say that couples counseling has helped me in the past, if that's something you're both open to.

I'll do whatever I can for you, if you need it. Please keep me posted, and I'm very sorry to hear you're having a rough time lately.

Q said...

I can also admit that couples counseling is very helpful. As I am currently sailing in those waters.