Beating up on myself

Well, yesterday Mr. Borealis said (in a very non-hurtful just-being-a-stupid-man kind of way) that he felt a little sorry for the fact that I wasn't employed in my field. I was fishing for encouragement at the time--I'm freaking 24 with a BA and some work on an MA, working 3 part-time jobs and still don't know what I'm doing with my life.

I'm proud to say I haven't cried yet, but I did have a freak out when he said it. I spent a bunch of time online and sought out the FBI employment page; that would the reason I got into Linguistics to begin with. I still think it would be really awesome to be an intelligence analyst; the sad thing is, I'm totally qualified, too.

But I also really want to do the whole small business owner artist writer thing (wow, that looks really immature on paper). I'd like to build the business while I do the whole librarian thing. I'm totally qualified to do this as well, but my odds are a lot worse at success.

So really, really smart logician and analytical thinker Alula got in a fight with totally freakishly creative and passionate Alula today.

And sadly, the two really aren't compatible. And more sadly, in the end it doesn't really matter what I pick because if Mr. B gets a better job elsewhere, we're moving. He's taking the Foreign Service Officers Exam this Saturday for a position that would reassign him outside the US; I'm very proud of him and I think it would be totally cool to live somewhere else for a while. He's out of town again and I miss him pathetically too much right now.

And he forgot to pay the HOA fees this month, so the money came out of my personal account, and now I'm down another $230 on the new laptop I desperately need. And by desperately, I do mean it--this current laptop is six years old and takes (literally) a whole minute to load even basic websites, and I'm about to have heavy school and work loads.

Alula