Things not to do at your bachelor(ette) party

Ladies,

Maybe it's just me--I am willing to accept that possibility.  People are different.  They should tailor their various functions to their needs and desires.  Tonight, I attended one of the most bizarre bachelorette parties I think I ever had, and it got me thinking about all of the weird wedding-related things I've seen in the last 5 years.

Tonight, I attended a bachelorette party where (I don't know how or why) all of the mothers were invited.  The mother of the bride was there.  The mother of the groom was there.  The mother of the maid of honor was there.  Bridesmaids' mothers, and even grandmothers, were there.  It felt more like a wedding shower than a bachelorette party, but all of the women there seemed to think it was cool to get drunk.  So I am sitting there watching middle-aged women being all, "we're such cool moms, we're at a bachelorette party!"  They're downing alcohol like no tomorrow, the bride and her friends think it's funny at first, but it took very little time before they started getting disgusted.  This is unfortunately happening at a Hard Rock Cafe, and the second a Go-Go's song comes on, moms are singing and dancing at the top of their lungs in the middle of the restaurant.  (OMG.)  One bridesmaid finally had to tell her mom to stop because she had several drinks already, was still drinking, and was planning to drive herself home right after dinner.  (The mom, of course, seemed to think she was too cool to leave at this point and wanted to stay the rest of the night--which moms had not been invited to--going bar hopping with the wedding girls.)

Lesson: If you think you're a cool mom, great.  Go drinking with your friends.  Your kids don't want to see that.  Be an even cooler mom and let your daughter hang out with the real cool people--her friends.  

I should note that for this same wedding, all male relatives were invited to the bachelor party too.  My husband went for the early evening activities, but left before things got too weird, apparently.  I later found out that both the father of the groom and the father of the bride stayed the entire party.  The FOB ended up having to escort around the groom because he was too smashed to walk.  They lost two of the groomsmen in Denver.  The next morning one of the groomsmen woke up in the groom's mother's house wearing a woman's tank top with no clue where his shirt was or how he ended up at the house or wearing what he was wearing.  

Lesson:  Seriously--this is how you want your bride's father to see you?  Really?

I attended one bachelor party (that should be a red flag already) where the bride had required the groom to invite her friends (ironically, I wasn't one of them).  See, the bride had a lot of friends, and apparently all of them needed to be in the wedding; the groom, for whatever reason, didn't wish to involve himself in the wedding plans.  She had 15 female friends she wanted in the wedding, plus her brother.  The groom wanted me, my husband, and a friend from high school who couldn't make it.  Result: Eight of her friends, plus me (so that I could walk with my husband) stood on her side of the wedding party.  Her brother, my husband, and her seven other friends stood on the groom's side.  (Yeah, the wedding party pictures were unique, to say the least.)  Her reasoning was that because her friends were on his side of the wedding, they should be invited to the the bachelor party; and even though I was a friend of the groom, my invite was to the bachelorette party (which I ditched to hang with the...er, guys).  We ate dinner, and then were supposed to hang out at Dave & Buster's for a while, but all of the bride's friends were underaged, so we had to wait for an old enough (25 years) cousin escort to get them in.  That was supposed to be the evening, but the best man (bride's brother) was a cool guy, and wanted to do a "real" bachelor party.  Somehow I find myself in a car calling my older brother for advice on strip clubs, we drive to one, the bride's friends are standing there grossed out, and everything is awkward.

Lesson:  If your bride is making attendance of her friends at your bachelor party mandatory, RUN. Don't plan adult activities for under-aged groups.  And for goodness sake, if you are the best man, ask someone beforehand where the good strip clubs are; avoid asking your cool female friend to hunt down the information for you on the spot, which generally can result in a lot of her family members calling the next day with awkward questions.  

Alula