This morning my grandmother passed away. She had a stroke several weeks ago. The doctors had her in rehabilitation therapy, but I guess she developed some chest congestion over the weekend, and she died early this morning. It was kind of unexpected, because she was in therapy to get better. It wasn't until yesterday they started to say that she likely wouldn't be with us much longer.
To clarify, this was my grandmother in North Carolina. She was my dad's step mom, but she married my grandfather when my dad was still a child, so she was responsible for a good deal of his upbringing. My dad was with her when she passed this morning.
I have an email out to my graduate advisor now to see if I can reschedule my comprehensive exam (supposed to happen this Friday) in the event that it conflicts with the funeral. No word on when the funeral is going to be yet. I'm not sure what I'm going to do if that exam can't be rescheduled; the bloodsucking leach of a graduate school requires students to register in the semester they take the exam, and it is only offered once per year. The cost of the required one credit hour? ~$2,500. If they do not let me reschedule for an unexpected death and postpone my graduation by a year, I will be pissed. I have been studying like crazy for this stupid test. ANd it really is a stupid test--the MA is made up of two parts: 36 credit hours worth of classes, and a 4-hour written exam. Anyone who thinks these two aspects balance 50/50 needs a brain scan, because if 5 semesters of graduate study can be cancelled out by one 4 hours exam, there is something wrong. That alone really has me hating the school right now.
I'm feeling a little surreal right now. I put off calling because initially things were so confused, and my dad went out to help his dad, and he promised to keep us all informed via email (he did). Then she was busy doing her physical therapy and seemed to be improving and all her kids were coming out to see her, but she was having trouble during the downtime and had to be sedated because she was pulling at her tubes (she had a feeding tube and sometimes a breathing apparatus because she lost control of the right side of her body). Then she had to be sedated more and more, and she wasn't aware of who or what was around her--I never got a phone call. I should have called, even if she wasn't aware when it happened.
Alula
4 comments:
Everything will be ok and don't think about what you should of could of done, if I had done that after my Grandpa Lee died I would of gone nuts. Try to think about the good times and know that we are all here for you.
She knew you cared. Let me know if anyone needs their pets watched.
Hang in there. You will make it through this time. If the school doesn't allow you to reschedule (in case of the funeral) just do what you need to and know that you are making the right decision. If the school is really that mean, then they deserve to lose a lot of money from potential students when we smear their names across the internet!
Thanks everyone. I am truly blessed to have friends like all of you. <3
As it turns out, the rescheduling of the test is a non-issue. When people started talking about what to do about services, several of her kids came forward to say that Grandma had said, many times over the years, that she wanted a simple cremation and no services. (This sounds right to me, because she was a caring woman who didn't like to impose, and wouldn't have wanted a big drawn out tearful scene.)
So, I'm trucking through what I have left to study, and planning my own private memorial to celebrate her life.
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