This post serves to voice that Mr. B and I are now officially boycotting J.P. Morgan Chase. Mr. B just got off the phone with customer service there after thirty minutes. Was the problem resolved? We have no idea. Then why did he get off the phone? --Because the office was closing, so the MANAGER there was sorry, but they could not resolve the $800 dollars they had wrongfully removed from our account, which was closed last month (read about that here).
The story begins many months ago, when we begin to get pestering phone calls about the "great deals" Chase wants to offer us for our cards. They want to offer me an amazing deal, because they know I'm a student--they will extend me credit to pay for tuition and books. The problem here is the interest on this deal is higher than we're already paying, with no increase on the credit limit, and they want to charge us an extra monthly fee for the program. No thanks, you scheming dirtbags. However, saying 'no' is not enough, as I receive the same pitch 3 more times until I tell them to stop calling or we're canceling.
Then one month we noticed almost a thousand dollars gone from Mr. B's Fidelity account. After some research, we discover the reason for this is that Chase accidentally double paid our mortgage. One hour getting bounced around the various customer service departments at Chase, and we have it straightened out, and a promise to high heaven that "that sort of thing never happens" and "it would never happen again." The $800 dollars was refunded to our account more than a week later, with checks bouncing left and right because we had counted on having the money in there when we wrote them. Chase assumes no responsibility for the bounced check fees they caused.
Phone calls resume. More sales pitches. Told them not to call again. Then they start nicking us with lame service charges--Mr. B wants to cancel the credit cards, but I tell him these suck-tastic practices are industry standard, and to just pay the mob. So we do.
Up to last November. In mid-late November, Mr. B cuts it too close paying the credit card bill, and they tack on a late fee (again, read about that here). Now, I had initially blamed this on Mr. B, because when dealing with loan sharks, you never cut it close. He paid the bill the day it was due, and the bank showed the payment had cleared in time, but Chase said they did not receive it on time. So apparently the money spent some time in the ether between the time the bank said the money had been withdrawn, and the time Chase said they got it two days later. Whatever. We're upstanding card owners who always (even if barely) pay on time and always in full, so Mr. B calls and politely asks that the fees be removed. The rep says 'no', and he had finally had it, so he told the rep to close the account--we were done dealing with the crap. Account closed.
The very next week we closed on the refinance (through a different financial institution), effectively severing ties with Chase for good and swearing to never go back. We were done with Chase, but apparently Chase was not done with us.
With all of our accounts with Chase closed and our mortgage well moved on to other grounds, you can imagine Mr. B's surprise and extreme anger when he logged into his Fidelity account tonight to see that $800 dollars had been withdrawn to pay our mortgage by--guess who!--Chase. It's in the evening so he calls immediately, because our HOA of $200 comes out of the same account, and that check will bounce with another $800 gone. So he gets on the phone and goes straight to the automated system. When he finally gets a person, that person is with the Web department or whatever, so he gets transferred--to another automated system. He finally gets a person on that end who manages accounts, but he doesn't have an account, so it must be a web error--back to the web team. And so on and so forth. He finally demanded that these people do a 3-way call, and he eventually had to get a manager to lead the circus. When the clowns finally figure out that he has no accounts with them and they have effectively stolen $800, they tell him they have canceled the automatic payment to nowhere. Then we try to figure out how to get the money back--but WHOOPS!--the office is closed now.
Please check back tomorrow for your $800. We wish you the best of luck with that check we're going to bounce for you by stealing your $800 without cause for a mortgage we no longer own on an account you canceled more than 30 days ago.
There is a special place in Hell, Chase, but I'm sure you already know of it (you probably run that institution as well).
Alula
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