Alright Ladies, this is really getting ridiculous. Mr. Munchkin is on the phone arguing with his mother again. They have had a really rough time in his family getting along since the end of October. This situation is totally stressing me out and making me crazy.
He's been on the phone 25 minutes so far this time (a marathon talk for him and his mom) and I heard him raising his voice. I have no clue what the conversation is about because he locks me out of the conversations. What should I do?
~Munchkin
2 comments:
Talk to your husband and tell him how you feel.
Play the pregnancy card if you have to--if it's stressing you out, it's not good for the bump.
Chances are there is nothing *you* can do to fix a problem between your husband and his family, but he needs to understand that *he* needs to either fix it or find a way to cope so that it isn't affecting you. And no, locking you out of the room is apparently ineffective, because you're still stressed out. A man can't end his relationship with his mother, but he needs to realize that if it's toxic to his marriage, he needs to either fix the motherly interactions or find a new wife--if you consider it unlivable, then yeah, this is where things are headed.
I will couch it this way: if it were my mother affecting my spouse/family, I would lay it out that the behavior is inappropriate and will not be tolerated. If my parents want to be in my marriage and around my kids, they will respect the decisions I make AS AN ADULT and treat me with due respect, or they will not be around.
And okay, maybe you can't choose who's going to be around on family holidays (christmas, thanksgiving, etc.), but I can elect to not have people around more than absolutely necessary. My sister can't seem to respect my husband, and when she starts acting up, I freeze her out fast enough to kill the interaction and tell her that's exactly what I'm doing (end of fight--I say it and walk away, and if she follows, I let her harp her heart out and don't talk back until she gets bored and leaves).
My thought is that you just need to talk with your husband about how this makes you feel. And he should at least keep you in the loop or have his conversations with his mother outside the house. Chances are that he is locking you out because he doesn't want to stress you out. Men have strange logic thinking they are protecting you but are inadvertantly making it more difficult. Perhaps throwing something at him might work, doesn't with mine he just throws it back (harder). Just remember those pregnancy hormones tend to blow everything out of proportion sometimes. Sure did with me.
Post a Comment