So anyways, I was giving my supervisor a heads up that if the situation got worse (because my husband has no self control), and accidentally made a dating statement: "He had to be hospitalized for this condition in 2003, right before we graduated high school."
My supervisor's eyes shot open and he said, "You graduated high school in 2003? Good God you're young!"
I shrugged, and raised my shoulders. "Sorry."
I had a moment of panic, because I've encountered age-related discrimination in academia before; my advisors have always told me I'm too young to pursue a Master's, let alone a second Master's...let alone to consider a PhD. Obviously I don't have the life experience to formulate my own ideas for research, right? Mostly it's the other students, and not the professors (to whom everyone is young); many of the 30-somethings get shocked looks when they find out I'm "so young." I'm too young, apparently, to have a well-regarded industry job. I'm too young to have had an 8 year relationship with my husband. Too young to own a house. I try to dress older when I go to work, because while my supervisor is a really cool guy (btw, I found out when processing some paperwork for a conference we're attending in April that he's in his mid 50s), I've generally found that the research field is similar to academia, and I was afraid that if the age thing got out, I might be subconsciously overlooked for things like conferences, hardcore research, and getting my opinion asked.
To clarify, my supervisor isn't the issue. He knows I'm able, which is why we are presenting our research together. It's the other researchers, some of whom I don't know as well. My supervisor came right back at me with: "Let me rephrase that--Good God, I'm old!"
We both laughed, and the conversation moved on. But it kind of got me thinking about how weird age perception is, because I have never once considered myself too young to be doing the things I'm doing. I've set the right age for me to have kids (if ever) after 30, which I am hearing from classmates in their 40s is "too old", while Munchkin plans to have kids now, and she's younger than me. My sister (age 23) graduated from high school a year early, is getting her PhD now, and is still effectively living with my parents. Q was apparently ready to own a house and get married before bothering to get through high school. I'm beginning to believe that age-related milestones are more loosely fitted for our generation than for previous generations. I'm curious to hear others thoughts on this: what are you ready to be doing in your life? What have you been told you were too young for? Or conversely, too old for?
Alula
4 comments:
Well four times this week I have been told that I am too young to be married this week. Two coworkers at work were shocked to find I was in my early twenties. My teachers and classmates started drilling me in class when they saw my wedding ring. I actually took pleasure in adding that yes I owned a house, and its half paid for.
It seems odd to me that this is so unheard of. My Grandmothers generation got married in their early twenties or earlier. Though I'm sure World War II and something to do with that. I wounder if their children were effected by that, if the general mind set of there up bringing was to wait to get married.
I am perfectly content with were I am in my life. I do not have the greatest house but I am very thankful I have it. As for being married at this age; so we spend out lives waiting even if we think we have found the right person. I want to spend as much time as I have on this earth with Mr. Q. Why spend our twenties waiting to be in our thirties? Alula I think your education should be considered all the more amazing because you have done it in such a short time period.
I am happy with were I am right now. If children come soon thats fine, but I am just as happy to put that off a few more years. At the moment they would put a kink in my plans. I am still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up so I think its a good thing I have time to figure it out. I have no desire to spend my life in school; and spending my life at work is not appealing ether. I know most if you do not understand; but I dream of staying home and raising my children. I do not see what is so offensive about wanting to be a homemaker, alternating wedding dresses, and having dinner ready when Mr. Q gets home; I find it rewarding. However I do not think its all going to be that easy.
Really Alula why are you stressing about this? You have nothing to feel bad about. Stop letting the old people get you down!
Today at work I was asked again how old I am. They seem to think I was 26 or 27.
Not stressing, and certainly not judging! You want to be a homemaker; good for you! My mom was stay-at-home, and believe me, it was not easy. Keeping up with the house, let alone the schedules of a handful of kids, is a full-time job in and of itself.
I guess it gets to me that people think I'm older because of where I am with my life, and I feel like I haven't accomplished jack sometimes. Sometimes I feel like time is just wasting away and I'm doing nothing wit it, which is ridiculous because I have no free time so I must be doing *something* with it.
I'm too old to be single! I'm too young to wake up with my hips hurting.
If I compare myself to my parents, I'm right on track compared to my mom, I have my degree, and I'm working. But my dad, at my age, was married had a kid and was on his way to a PhD. (My mom is 5 years older than my dad)
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