So I am getting married quite soon. And Mr. Munchkin doesn't have a "real" career at the moment. I told him I would like to quite from working in the Asian food restaurant because I want to hurt myself and my boss everyday I work there. I told him That I am quitting my job no matter what tomorrow and he is mad because I won't be making that money anymore. I feel this is an unfair thing for him to argue, because for the last 2 years he has not had a "real" job and his business is not doing to great either. He is doing very little to fix these situations so I feel that it is fair that I quit the job that is making me suicidal rather than suffer anymore while he stays at home.
Am I being unreasonable by doing this?
~Munchkin
2 comments:
Unreasonable? Hell no!
In December of 2007 (about a year and a half ago) Mr. B was working a job that made him so miserable. His boss was sadistic and the office environment was hostile. He was sticking it out because that income was the only one we had; I told him to quit the job. That job caused a lot of fights for us because he couldn't quit without lining something else up or me having a job (I had one, but it didn't pay).
And you know what I felt? Guilty. I wanted him to quit (and he did, once he had something else lined up), but I felt so incredibly guilty for putting him in that position. When he quit, I totally supported him and found ways to adjust the budget to compensate.
I think Mr. Munchkin needs a reality check--I would love to run my own business, too, but not at the expense of my spouse's mental well-being. That's why I run something small on the side, and I would quit my day job if it ever became profitable enough to warrent full-time attention.
Same with my writing. I write because I enjoy it, but I'm not going to quit my job on the premise that I'm a writer. Someday, I'll get published, and same deal--if that becomes profitable, I might make a career out of it, but for now it's just an enjoyable hobby.
The bills need to get paid in addition to chasing those dreams, or else we'd all starve. It's really not fair that he just gets to chase his dream full time while you suffer through financing it. You should both be sharing the dreams and the financial burden 50/50--that's what marriage is about.
"Of all things living, a man is the worst!"
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