I order you to precipitate!

Right now, my weather website of choice is reporting it is snowing here. Above it what it actually looks like. Weather reports keep taunting me and I want rain or snow--either would be great, but we keep getting sun and it's screwing with my head.

I still have no job, though I am on track losing my weight. I'm getting ever closer to opening my online store. I still have bills to pay at the doctor's and I still have to turn in my application for time off from my Linguistics MA (it's due by May, so no one freak out). I have commenced worrying about how the hell I'm going to pay for school, as I've applied a lot of places now and I'm stuck in the rut where I'm either over qualified and the employer thinks I'll leave at the first offer of a "serious" job (they're right) or I'm passed over for the serious job because I haven't completed enough credits on my MLS, I'm not available every single weekend (I have class then), or I'm recently married and pose a pregnancy homemaking threat (though Library positions seem to worry a lot less about this, which is great).

I really hate to say this, but I really hate other women right now. Mr. B has two female co-workers right now that he's sure are going to quit soon. One has set up with a boyfriend such that her income is only supplementary so she's going to quit and "work for his company." The other is pregnant and is leaving once she has the baby.

What the hell is wrong with us? I'm sorry, but my life goal is not to be a man-serving baby factory. Someone give me a damn job. One that isn't a part-time hobby for supplementary income. I really hold a grudge for every woman out there who perpetuates this cycle, because I'm sick of the casual interview question "Are you married?...Oh, that's great, when did that happen...? And your husband works...?"

And at that point, my stock has dropped. With 20,000 people losing their jobs in this country every day, there are better candidates. Because my husband already works, there are people more deserving and needing of the income. I'm married just over a year with steady income, so I'm statistically getting ready to pop a kid out and start baking cookies all day.

I'm taking my GD rings off. I have absolutely no desire to stay at home changing diapers and wiping faces on a permanent basis, and I need a job before that accident happens and I wind up a stay-at-home mom because Mr. B is too cheap to pay for childcare. I want to run my own business and work, and Mr. B really sucks right now because as I previously reported would happen, he now wants kids someday.

Munchkin, stop worrying--I'm ordering the dress for your wedding by the end of next week.

I'm incredibly frustrated right now.

Alula