Would everyone kindly take a step back.

Hey Ladies,
As you know may know I try very hard to not show my feelings, I hold things in and I never tell someone when they have pissed me off; But its gone too far! I have hit my breaking point! I mean this to everyone, so please take it to hart, but not to you directly. I am tired of being dogged for the things I do. Its the same things you all do, and if ever I have treated you the same way please let me know so I change too.

Most importantly just because I did not graduate High School does not make me a invalid. I took all the classes the rest of you did, and I passed all but too of them before I left there and that was because they did not fit into the semester. I took it the extra mile, I went a extra semester. Try that in heals! I worry that you all seem to forget how much High school sucked for all of us. I had to fight for everything I got in that high school. I was constantly being told that I would never graduate and I was never going to become anything. The counseling office would do nothing to help me because I was labeled as a bad kid. I was called into the drop out prevention office because I had three family members drop out of the same High School and they though I was going too aswell. I had the principle calling me into her office about every week to tell me I was a failure. My teachers had my family members in there prior classes and most of them did not give me a chance to prove myself.
My mother is a wonderful person, but keeping up with high school was not her thing. She never went to a Parent/Teacher conference meeting. I think the only teacher she every met was my band teacher.
I was poorly home schooled for 6 years before high school. I had to catch up for all of those years in high school. I was six years behind in science and math.
My father died my freshman year and no adult though to see of I was ok with that, I am sorry to say that was not. I had not idea how to ask for help. I had never had too. It tore me apart and I had no one I could talk too.
Its a touchie subjuect that I did not finish High School because of all theses reasons. Thats why I have not raced out and gotten a GED. It would help if I did not get shit from all my friends about it. I and hate this to sound mean; but if you are my friend you need to understand I need you to back the hell off! ( only a stronger four letter F word! ) No one is prefect you all had a hard time getting though highschool too! BACK THE HELL OFF! I will finish high school when I am ready to do so. At this point I am soo pissed off at the everone for giving me greef about it I am not srue I will even tell anyone I got it.

I am a adult! The money I spend is my money to spend! I do not have a credit card that I am using. Everything I own is paid for. I will admit that I am not good at budgeting, but the only person I need to answer to is my husband.

Speaking of my husband, He is on the other side of the world and I am scared shitless he is never comming back to me. I have huge fear of abandoment problems. Thats probably why I do not tell people what I am thinking. So if I go out and buy something or adopt a cat its my buisness! I am a private person I do not like talking to people when I am upset. I stress shop! GET OVER IT!

My house is not clean, I'm not a neat person. I am however depressed and who really wants to clean there house when they are depressed? I need to clean it thats for sure but I do not need everyone harping on me about it.

I often feel like everyone thinks I am not as smart as they are. I am so sick of being talked down too. Just because I did not go to collage does not mean I do not have a grasp on life. I have got to tell you all it drives me crazy when I am doing something, and someone takes it away form me to figure it out themself. When I am reading directions for something wait your turn! lol I'm not a idiot ya know.

Lastly I am a bad speller its a fact. Its time to get over it, and stop making jokes about spelling errors I made 8 years ago. I could easily bring up silly mistakes constantly to, but I don't because it only hurts feelings.

Thats whats been on my mind lately. I hope I do not offend anyone too much, I just can't be the puching bag anymore. I am trying to juggle too much. I am always here to talk to you and hear your problems. I am not looking for applogies. I just needed to let out the things that have been bugging me. I love you all so much. You have no idea what a big part of my live you all are! Thanks for being here!